Lines in the Sand

Where is the line drawn to what is acceptable to post online and what is not? As a person who doesn’t use social media unless to communicate to long distance friends and family, this line is clear. My social media is used to show my friends and family good memories I experience as I come across them. While post worthy events might not come along often, I use them to make my followers at ease that I at least have some social interaction. For most of my generation, how ever this line becomes blurry and moves across a large spectrum.

One topic that I consider sensitive to talk about online is relationships and their status. Some people consider it a BIG deal to make things “Facebook official” and other people refuse to post anything about their relationships online and both have valid arguments as to which side they belong to. Online relationships have become a new fad to the younger generations and want to exploit all of their romantic adventures. Vlogging, a new medium for blogs where they are formatted in video form are all the rage for young couples to show the world their relationship. People have become crazed with the concept of online couples and “shipping” or metaphorically placing people together. I myself as a young teen had my share of “ships”, hoping and praying that my two favorite bloggers would someday announce their secret undying love for each other, which sadly never happened. One example of this would be popular vloggers, Liza Koshy and David Dobrik. Liza and David were the power couple of the vlog universe and would frequently post videos of them just enjoying their time together. Many would think, “well who would want to watch two kids be crazy?” however the couple shared over 21 million followers on Youtube. When the couple posted the video “we broke up,"  many people’s world was shattered. The couple posted a video releasing that they had broken up six months prior and had a heartfelt conversation of why it was for their best interest. So, is this appropriate content that the world should be watching? These people just poured out their hearts and people were so invested that the video currently holds over 49 millions views. Some people would argue that this video was going over the top and using the breakup to gain more views and being narcissistic, but this relationship was this couple’s livelihood and they were risking it all by disclosing their relationship status. Humphreys states that vlogs have “presentism…[which] gives the text veracity and authenticity” which means that posts are often made recently after an event making the memory clear and fresh (Humphreys 33). They didn’t only put the video up for the fans, but for themselves. Vloggers must, “be conscious and considerate of your audience and it’s needs, rather than getting mired in your own egotism or insecurity” (Humphreys 44). They didn’t want to be lying to their viewers and hoped that they would still show them live and support through this difficult transition.  There have been other forms of media that may have stepped over the confidentiality line, like the Scott Simon tweets we examined.

Scott Simon is a radio talk show host on NPR who lost his mother in 2013. He raised many eyebrows from his tweets that consisted of the story of the end of his mother’s life. Simon was in a fragile state, as one would be when their mother falls deathly ill, but he decided to console himself with the help of his online presence and community. He informed Twitter of his every move of this grief filled process of his mother’s last days including the hospital visits up until her passing. People had different opinions of this string of tweets; many described these tweets as raw human emotion however uplifting, but others complained that it was insensitive of him to post such a painful time. I believe that Simon  posting these tweets are part of his “I” over his “me” as described by Mead’s concept of symbolic interaction. These posts were a part of Simon’s grief process and were a tool used to console himself and others going through similar losses, not for narcissistic reasons which can be “characterized by a therapeutic sensibility… and focuses on the self rather than community” according to Christopher Lasch (Humphreys 44). While not everyone supported this act, the number of people who supported Simon and offered their condolences far outnumbered those that did not. Deaths are hard to take in, but Simon did the right thing by expressing himself openly to gain the support of his valued fans.

Our online diaries can be used in an infinite amount of ways; from food blogs to breakups. The internet will continue to surprise us with the sense of community it shares over all topics. Everyone has their own opinion and values of their posts online as well as the sensibility to post only what they are comfortable with, so we can conclude that there is not a line that can be crossed to what should remain public or private.

Mead and Social Media

In the sense that social media is completely formed by the content that YOU want to see, it makes for a much more individualized experience that interactions in the real world. You get to choose who you interact with, and what you see. However, in a regular day, like a day of going to class, you'll be forced to see and interact with people that you may not necessarily interact with if you were given the choice. Most importantly, we can choose exactly what from our life that we want to post, whether we want to post all the good things that happen, and brag about our experiences, or if we want to be that one person on social media that uses it as a diary of all the terrible events that we endured that day. Both of these aspects of life, social media, and day-to-day interaction are mostly modified by the expectations of others, the "me" is no longer our actual self, its more of a reflection of what we think others want to see, or what people will react to the most. With all this modified interaction in social media and in real life, this leaves little room for the "I" and limits the personality in one self. In every interaction with different groups of people we change the way we behave for them, ultimately leading to us having no actual individual personality or self. 
After reading a bit from Humphrey's, we talked a lot about diaries, and reviewed the argument that social media was basically just a public version of a diary. Keeping in mind all that I have stated about Mead from above, I believe that social media is a public diary in a sense. On social media, we have people that strictly have accounts to post memes, or things to make people laugh, we have the people that post life experiences good or bad, and then we have people that post past experiences while they are sitting in class wishing they could be anywhere besides where they are now. When I think about my diary writing as a young girl, I remember writing experiences of my day at school, reflecting on past vacations, or fun family weekend outings, and lasting I remember reflecting on something funny that happened in school that day.
 To show my own personal public diary, I'm going to include a screenshot of my personal Instagram account, which I do not post much on. 

Although I'm not the most active 'poster' on social media, there are still some lies hidden in my posts. For one, I am no longer a soccer player at TLU, and that picture is from freshman ear season when I uploaded it, this could be kind of misleading to someone who doesn't already know that. Secondly, all my 'selfies' are pictures of me, with make up on, and my hair done. With going to class and work everyday that isn't an accurate picture of what I look like to my peers day-to-day. My social media, isn't completely full of lies, but there are parts of my true self that I do hide, and I use my social media to portray the person I see myself as still. 

Social Media is up to you

Social Media is so many things to so many people. Is it good or bad or just a little bit of both? You will get different responses depending on the person you ask. For our first reading in class, we learned about George Herbert Mead and his theory about “I” and “Me”. Mead believed that a person's “me” are the outside forces that affect a person and how they think. He believed that people’s reactions, thoughts, and sayings can affect how a person will define themselves. The “me” is also what you believe others are reacting, thinking, and saying about you. The person’s “I” is there true self and everything that is original about that person. This is a concept that can easily affect what people are posting and how we think about it. When we think about social media, you think of it as this pretend thing. We are so used to seeing perfect lighting, poses and memories. This is sometimes hard to see because we our comparing these “perfect” memories to our current situations which may or may not be ideal. A lot of social media is people portraying what they think others want them to portray.  This feeds into the concept of Mead’s theory of “me” because one is controlling what they post on these platforms because they are thinking of what others may say. I was also using Mead's theory earlier today when thinking about how our class was reacting to social media. In class discussions, most of us talk about how social media is “bad” and “all fake”. We even went as far as saying that it was a waste of time to be on it. Yet I really think none of us have stopped using social media because of these thoughts. Why do we think so poorly of social media yet we never stop using it? I do not really believe that we all think so badly of these platforms, we just have heard the narrative that social media was bad and so we use it because we think that it is what each other wants to hear. When in reality, we all really enjoy looking at social media and want to continue posting memories and our life’s snapshots. This coincides with Mead’s theory because the social thought of social media is portrayed to us in a bad way but we continue to use it as our own because we want to fit into this narrative.
Social media in the past was used for quick snapshots of your life. I would say these were the highlights on social media pages but in the past couple of years, people are now posting everything they are going through and their posts are no longer the highlights but more of a diary. People are becoming more honest and forthcoming in what they are posting. You see people posting about their break ups, deaths, insecurities, and struggles they are going through. They want something to look back on and see what they were going through. In Humphreys’ chapter that we read this past week, she talked about journals. People use to write everything in their journals from the amazing food they were having to the fights that happened in their households. After the journal was full, they would send it off for their families to read. This way the family knew what was going on with each other. The diaries were used as a form of communication and I think that social media is bringing back a form of a diary for people. I think this is happening for a couple of reasons. The first one I think is just convenience. We can post something on one social media page and it will reach so many people at an instant rate. The second reason why I think people are using social media as a diary is because people feel that social media is forever; when you post something it is essentially on the internet forever and people want those memories in a safe spot and the internet is a little easier to carry around than a diary is.  Facebook has made it super easy for people because they will give you memories of what you have posted at the top of your timeline. When you stop looking at the internet as a place that is a fake place where people post just to post but rather as a place where people are keeping you updated with their life. That they are posting because they care about you, it makes the internet just a little more of a happy place. There are still some people who do not believe that social media should not be used as a diary.
Palomar college independent newspaper “The Telescope”, posted an article stating that they do not believe that social media should be used as a diary because it contains private information and so many employers do ask for your social media handles because they want to see what you are posting. I do think this a true and valid statement but I also think that this can keep people updated with your life; including the good and the bad. Also maybe it will help people be more compassionate to each other since we know when someone is having a hard period in their lives. However, no matter who you are, you will go through tough times in your life and having people to help you and support you, will just make this time a little bit easier. At the end of the day, I think how you want to use your social media is up to you. You control your own happiness and who am I, Mead, Humphreys, and Palomar College to tell you otherwise.

Sources:
“'I' And the 'Me'.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 28 Dec. 2018, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/'I'_and_the_'me'.

“Social Media Isn't Your Diary #Sorrynotsorry.” Evolution of Modern Humans:  Early Modern Human Culture, 13 Mar. 2017, www2.palomar.edu/telescope/2016/02/13/social-media-isnt-your-diary-sorrynotsorry/.

Humphreys, Lee. The Qualified Self: Social Media and the Accounting of Everyday Life. The MIT Press, 2018.

Social Meadia

Dr. Vrooman

Social Media and Society

Emma Taylor

January 26, 2019

Social Meadia

One could say social media brings people all over the world together unlike anything else.  The argument of whether it pulls people in or pushes them away is a broad and vast one with viable cases for either side.  George Herbert Mead presents a theory about society. He presents the social philosophy of the “I and Me” theory. The “I and Me” theory goes like this, the “Me” is what is learned from society, so for example a child learns that it has a gender from the responses of other people around them telling them they have one.  They learn how to act appropriately in their given society and what is expected out of them. The reactions people have to you teaches you certain ways to act and in turn react back to them. Another way to word it is, “the norms society places on us as individuals” (Mead: The Me, the I and the Self[ie], 2015).  This learned part of yourself is the “Me.”  The “Me” can be drastically different for everyone based on what kind of society they live in and where they live on the map.  For instance if you lived in China vs America the beauty standards would most likely be drastically different, so people would have learned a different ideal to set themselves up against.  The “I” is the part of yourself that responds to these norms society is expecting us to hold up to. Mead concluded that the “I” and the “Me” together make up the self and that without both of them people would have no hope of having any form of personality.

Social media allows people to express their inner “I’s” in a way that they might feel uncomfortable or unwelcome to do in public or in “real” life.  On the other hand social media also allows its users to alter reality and advertise the socially sculpted “Me.” In doing so someone might offer an image of their life that can cause others to scrupulously examine their own.  People often are left with the idea that their lives aren’t as good, exciting, fulfilling as they should be after experiencing this. Is it wrong to share a reality that isn’t necessarily the truth to help ourselves feel better about our lives if it could potentially harm someone else's?  At the same time though people should be aware that anything on the internet has the potential of alterations, so should the poster really be held accountable for what they share? Mead talks about everyone having “general others” that they mold themselves to fit around what society tells them they should be like.  It would seem that any type of alteration on reality would continue this circle of inspection on our lives. People get used to seeing the “perfect” picture of others highlight reel and they base the way their lives should be on that.

Lee Humphreys brings up the point in her book “The Qualified Self” that sharing our lives publicly is not necessarily a new concept since social media came into play.  People have been logging their lives in journals and diaries since the dawn of paper and ink. These diaries would often be shared with family and friends for various reasons.  The highlight of the reasons being travel journals, which aren’t we all more inclined to post pictures when we’re on vacation? It’s a given that the social aspect might not have been for the same reason since journals were less likely to get hearts and thumbs up, but they still had a sense of publicly documenting their lives.  “This is not to suggest that the diary or any form of media accounting is necessarily the truth or fact” Humphreys says, even diaries and journals could not be entirely the whole truth. People would have been writing about the interesting and different parts of their lives like travel and special occurrences, not the mundane, boring parts like, emptying the bed pans or milking the cow that no one is interested in.  So even then people would have had an unrealistic point of view on everyday life in these diaries.

Social media today has allowed for an almost instant reaction to your daily life as you would portray it.  How many likes someone might get could even determine how they feel about their day or about the moment of it that they decided to share.  It can have an extreme effect on they way people view themselves and others. Deciding what is an acceptable amount of likes in order for a post to not be deleted or feeling conflicted as to the reason that one friend of yours did not like or comment on your post.  People can certainly get sucked into the idea that the amount of followers you have or the ratio of followers to following you have determines your social worth. Maybe people use social media just to feel some sense of human social connection in an age where technology rules and dictates all, or perhaps this is just another false representation of reality posted on the internet.

Sources

Humphreys, Lee. The Qualified Self: Social Media and the Accounting of Everyday Life. The MIT Press, 2018.

Erikafern86. Mead: The Me, the I and the Self[ie]. Shifting Paradigms, 2015. https://rampages.us/efcarpenter/2015/10/04/mead-the-me-the-i-and-the-selfie/

Is there really an 'I'? and How Social Media could be a form of mentality.

During our classes readings of Mead, we learned about the 'I' and the 'Me' and how they function with each other to make up a person's personality.

"The 'Me' is what is learned in interaction with others and (more generally) with the environment:...By contrast, 'the 'I' is the response of the individual to the attitude of the community". ( Inghilleri, From Subjective Experience to Cultural Change)

With that in mind, we can gather that the 'Me' and 'I' should co-exist in a sense. Though, some people don't believe there is an 'I' inside of us, and we are all just products of the social influences we grow up around. I will agree that humans are mainly made up of the 'Me' and are shaped largely due to the influences around them. The question I would have to then ask, is if that is the case, why aren't we all marching around in single file and handling things like a hive mind? If there was no sense of individual self, we would all just be exactly the same as people in our surroundings are. For some reason, there is something that shines through social standards at times, and enables you to be different than everyone else around you.

"According to Mead, there would be no possibility of personality without both the 'I' and the 'Me'." (Mead, Morris, Mind, Self, and Society from the Standpoint of a Social Behaviorist)

Everyone's personalities are different. In the new age of social media, the margins of how different everyone is has definitely decreased. To give an example, I for one believe that the 'I' shines through in music tastes. To use myself as an example. I was raised in the country, and never heard any music genre other than country until I was about 15. I heard a rap song on the radio and instantly loved everything about it. I had never been exposed to that type of music in my life, yet somehow the enjoyment of it was strong enough to pull me away from my social norm, and listen to it regardless of what others thought of me. I know this isn't a constant with everyone, but everyone has their own music tastes. There is a lot of overlap, but I feel that is a product of the artist to consumer ratio. 

Social media is a platform that enables mass amounts of people to be able to communicate with each other at the same time. With all of the interactions that take place on social media, it is easy to forget that it is truly an amazing feat, and a feat that might trigger some of the more natural instincts of our brains.

"When people are part of a group, they often experience deindividuate, they are less likely to follow normal restraints and inhibitions and more likely to lose their sense of individual identity. Groups can generate a sense of emotional excitement, which can lead to the provocation of behaviors that a person would not typically engage in if alone." (Avant, examining the mob mentality)

Social Media has seem to form into a certain type of mentality. It is a huge part of almost everyone's daily lives, and there is no doubt our world revolves around it. Just take a step back and think what our world would be like without Social Media. Our world wouldn't be nearly as diverse and information might not be as user friendly as it is now. We are going to move on to an example of when Social Media can trigger our natural group mentality.

Now the interesting thing is if you look at one of the NPR stories that we read for class, it detailed the account of this mass following behind Scott Simon on Twitter when he was accounting the last days with his dying mother. This registered emotionally with his followers, who were all replying to his tweets, giving their condolences. The harsh fact of life is that people die everyday. Though, there was something different in particular about Scott Simon's story. There were enough people that knew about this particular death and all offered their respects, which then drew a large sum of people doing the same. For that moment regardless if the people in that group knew him personally, we do what we know is socially acceptable. Social media opens the door for a lot more of these types of interactions due to the large number of people that can all mingle at the same time.

I think before social media, the 'Me' and 'I' parts of you spent a lot more time in sync, because it wasn't as common to get caught up in a large group of people, and lose the 'I'. With Social Media, those opportunities present themselves more often, since it has the tendency to move through fads and different internet challenges that draw in a large amount of people. With our society being so caught up in what the 'Me' is doing, we are slowly losing room for our 'I'.

Sources:
Wikipedia contributors. "'I' and the 'me'." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 28 Dec. 2018. Web. 27 Jan. 2019. 
http://source.southuniversity.edu/examining-the-mob-mentality-31395.aspx
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2013/07/30/207032871/on-twitter-scott-simon-s-long-goodbye-to-his-mother

 

Public vs. Private

Social Media: Public vs. Private

The very moment a person chooses to create a social media account, they are out there-- quite literally dumped in the entrance of a vast and endless pool of internet activity and exposure. Every social platform puts the user on their own virtual stage that they can say and put whatever they want into the world. And really, there is no limit in what that content can persist of (legally speaking, of course) or how users get ahold of it.

In terms of how to broadcasting through these platforms, there is a very obvious split of users who choose to publicly show every detail of their lives versus those who choose to be more private. I happen to be one of the later category as I consider myself extremely exclusive in consideration of my personal life and what I choose to share with others (which is usually very little to none) across various platforms. Before starting this class, I only had Facebook (for family purposes) and Instagram (as my major social networking platform for connecting with friends and personal areas of interests). That isn't to say that I don't use social media because I do. Alot, actually. Generally speaking, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, I am constantly engaging with various forms of media. I may not post frequently compared to others, but I pay attention to what my network of friends and family make public.

Therefore, after reading the pieces that explained how some individuals choose to publically share their emotions on more difficult experiences-- for instance the loss of a loved one (Scott Simon's Goodbye To His Mother and Facebook Memorials) and Youtube breakup videos (ex: Liza Koshy & David Dobrik)-- I found it quite mind boggling that some individuals could be comfortable enough to share these experiences with a public audience instead of keeping them private.

But it isn't just a handful of individuals that have turned towards a more public online lifestyle. MILLIONS of people engage in this media frenzy of showing their lives off on a daily basis. The amount of vloggers has skyrocketed in the last handful of years and strangely enough, the most successful of them are household names. Literally what young kid doesn't know who Logan and Jake Paul are (**eyeroll**)?

I find this fascinating in a kind of strange way because they essentially get famous for broadcasting their lifestyles to the world and that there are people out there who care enough to watch other people's lives in such a meticulous, devoted way. There is something obviously captivating to media users when they get to watch and see the lifestyle of others on full display. A prime example of this can easily be seen with the reality show Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Most people may dislike the family but how else can you explain a whopping 15 seasons or that two of the sisters are on Instagram's Top 10 Followers List. This trend isn't only surrounding the channels of television because even the Youtube account with the most subscribers happens to be a vlogger named PewDiePie with a staggering 87.97 million accounts linked directly to his profile. 

But is the material authentic?? Surely there is something that is keeping people hooked and when Khloe Kardashian shares her latest pic of a shake that guarantees a flat tummy or when Liza and David broke the internet by announcing their breakup, it can be hard to distinguish between the genuity of their messages to their audiences. 

In regards to a tummy ad, there is no fiber of my being that believes anything that I read in association with Khloe Kardashian. Nothing against her, but c'mon, is a cleanser really authentic enough that it adds anything to her than a pay check? With Liza and David, there is something raw being delivered and an aspect that Humphreys brought to attention that connects to them is when he describes how "details is sometimes not about the content itself but about the act of sharing... communication whose content is less important than the communicative act itself (pg. 47, Humphreys)". By David and Liza opening up about the hardness, yet light of their breakup, others can have the chance to connect and relate to their message.

But really, I think it's about the person's preference in regards to finding online material authentic or not. There are some who can find the ability to connect with strangers just because they see a tummy ad and a closet full of shoes, and there are also some who find it difficult and pointless to dwell on strangers. It is an individualistic choice to follow those that you find interesting enough to do so whether or not they act more publically or private online.

Humpreys, L. (2018). The Qualified Self: Social Media and the Accounting of Everyday Life. MIT Press.

Who I Am

Hey there! My name is Bethany Lopez and I am a student here at TLU and a frequent Social Media user. I have never really blogged before until this class, so I'm kind of confused on how it works, but I'll learn as the semester goes! I find social media as a very interesting topic because it plays such a big role in today's society and I am very excited to learn how it all works and to find out things I never knew before. I can't wait to share with you all what I learn throughout this semester and maybe it will change my viewpoint on social media as well.

Social Media And How It Affects Our Everyday Life

When we think about Social Media, we automatically think the funny memes, posting selfies on Instagram, letting everybody know how were feeling on Facebook, or those Twitter thread rants about our overbearing Professors that give us so much work. But, that’s not exactly what Social Media is all about. Social Media is something that revolves around our everyday lives that enables us human beings to create and share content with other human beings as well as meet some interesting people along the way. Now, here’s something to think about, does the content you post/create showcase the person you really are or the person you want others to think you are? This is something to think about because every day we post things that we think goes along with this persona we have on social media that we want people to see, but why don’t we post content that shows who we really are instead of creating this different role to play? When thinking about this in a more technical way, this is something called the “Self”, the “Me”, and the “I” which is a theory developed by George Herbert Mead that explains a lot of why we have such difficulty being our real, true self and how not only social media plays a big role in shaping who we are, but other people’s opinions and attitudes toward us make a big impact as well. When we talk about the “Self”, Mead believes that it is an entity that helps individuals grow and develop to be socially, productive citizens. This is what helps us to be the normal, social people we strive to be, and it is developed through social activities and social relationships, but we cannot pursue this without social interaction. Also, as our selves develop more and more, we begin to be able to examine our own thoughts and behaviors as if we were examining other’s actions and to reach this, we must have the ability to unconsciously put ourselves in other people’s shoes and view our own actions from that standpoint which could be a person in particular or a whole community. Now, when talking about the “Me” on the other hand, it is pretty much this picture perfect life and “cool” character we portray on Social Media that is influenced by the viewers of our content who are basically asking for more and more because the content we give is now what they are accustomed to seeing and they believe we are this person were not which helps us reach the goal of achieving more likes and comments. Besides that, this is the part of the “Self” that is concerned with how others will view it. We’re not exactly being our true self that we feel isn’t accepted or we’re seen as “different” because we’re not like everybody else that’s why we portray our lives of being “cool” and “hip” on social media where we feel more accepted than in real life. This is where the “I” comes into play. The “I” is the person behind the phone which is us, the real you who we don’t show to anyone. Mead explains the “I” is part of the “Self” that is spontaneous, impulsive, and creative which is all your possible cool characteristics that are un-socialized or as said before, not shown to the world. In connection with the “Me” and the “I”, the concept of “looking glass self” shows that we, as socialized products of society, are always thinking of how others think about us and are willing to do anything to change ourselves to fit in with societal standards. This has a lot do with people who are living their life as a lie just to fit in or to gain followers, likes, comments. In connection with this concept, the blog post posted on Mcsweeneys.com “My life might look great on Instagram, but deep down I’m actually a Ciranolid Isotope” by Simone Taylor is a perfect example of how we try to fit into the societal standards by posting fake content that does not relate to our actual feelings or our own life, but is the opposite of it. After questioning the person in particular for not leaving love on her content, she comes to admit that in reality, her life is not all that great but that she is actually a Ciranolid Isotope. She goes on to speak about a few of her posts and how they all have no meaning behind it and are not as lovely as they seem to be. She then admits that, “every one is a charade for your benefit. A total, bald-faced lie.” Taylor was posting these fake pictures to show viewers that she is supposedly living her best life and is carefree, but that the connections with the people in these photos were false and had no true meaning behind them and it was all just to gain hearts that she wanted that would fulfill the role she was playing on Social Media. Taylor wanted to fit in with society by portraying how much she loved life and that everything is perfect, but behind the phone screen, she is miserable and is living in the shadows of others. To tie everything all together, Social Media plays a crucial role in society that basically determines if you fit in or not and that is why people come up with these different identities because they are not accepted for their true self. They want to fit in and be accepted with this fake persona, but after a while, it will start to merge with their true selves and it will be hard to distinguish what is real or fake. In the end, it is only up to us decide if we will live our life through reality or live it falsely over a screen.

My Blog

So I'm Cody and I honestly have avoided social media all my life. I don;t have a phone and only recently created my twitter and other various platforms for the class so I'll be learning how to use them more as I go through this course. It's very strange to people to hear I don't use a cell phone or social media in a day and age where it is almost required by our society to have use both. I honestly feel like it's a waste of time but we'll see how my opinion develops over the course of this semester.

Social Media and The Self: Do They Really Mead to be Separate? (by Montrell Wiley)

When we look at each other's social media accounts, what is usually the first thing that you think of? That's dependent on whose account it is and their relationship toward you of course, since Linda was a hag towards you and everything she posts is offensive in your eyes. What about famous people? It seems like their life is always glamorous and happy. They post their fancy cars and big houses but you never see them post the paperwork and insurance agreements and contracts etc. needed to acquire all of those things. Not only that, most celebrities would never post anything about their personal life because once it's out in the public, their image will be affected whether it's positively or negatively. This applies to everyone who uses social media, although maybe not as drastic seeing as we don't all have a million followers. So what do we do to avoid this possible embarrassment? Or should we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and reveal our true selves online? We will get to that later, but for now let's look at George Herbert Mead's theories that we can easily apply to this situation.

Mead, a social philosopher, studied the connection between the self, mind, and society. An important take away from his theories is understanding the Generalized Other. Mead believes that the attitude of the entire community is the Generalized Other, and it can control most of what we believe ourselves to be. We never know what is socially acceptable until someone tells us what is. Take for example the experiment of "Five Monkeys and a Ladder" where each following monkey only did what their community of monkeys did without even knowing the reason. Our actions and personalities sometimes don't feel like our own and are just reflexes to peer pressure and society's rules, and we lose our true selves (if it's even possible to have one) because of this.


So since all of our actions are influenced by the Generalized Other, that means that every post we post online isn't actually for ourselves and that it is only there to follow what everyone else does or wants to see. This can be true in most cases, but there are times where we can manage to truly open up our struggles, triumphs, or fears to people online despite the controversy. Take Scott Simon, a Weekend Edition Saturday talk-show host, for an example. Scott has more than 1.2 million Twitter followers, so the influence of his Generalized Other will greatly affect his actions online. However, it did not stop him from posting his most sensitive moment in his life: the final days he spent with his dying mother. With only a month left before her 85th birthday, Patricia Lyons Simon Newman died after being brought in for an emergency operation. Scott documented his experience and shared it to the public of over a million people. He exposed his emotions, grief, and unique experience that no one would ever want to go through, let alone share, to so many people. Not only that, he also exposed his mother to the outside world as well. So was Scott in the wrong? Did he post his own mother's death just for the "clout"? Or was it all genuine and a step toward resisting the urge to hide our humanity? Scott was quoted as saying "I don't think it's any less sacred because it was shared with a lot of people and it must be said, you know, there was a lot of stuff that I didn't share. There was a lot of stuff that I will tell only my wife and maybe someday my children. I certainly had a sense of proportion and delicacy. I don't think my mother knew much about Twitter or social media platforms but I would read her an occasional message from someone in Australia, someone in Great Britain or Singapore and she was very touched. ...I didn't tweet anything and wouldn't have that I didn't think she would be totally comfortable with." (NPR Staff, Scott Simon On Sharing His Mother's Final Moments On Twitter)


Well, there is no sure way of knowing all of his intentions of his posts, but by using Mead's theory on the Generalized Other we can get an idea. His community of followers ate up his posts (in a good way) and proved themselves as loyal Twitter followers. They supported his posts and empathized with Scott, which I imagine made him feel less alone in his situation. I think that whether or not he posted his experience for attention, followers, or to have himself heard is beside the overall result of him fusing his social media presence with his true feelings.

This idea of merging personal hardship and social media isn't new. #HalfTheStory is a non-profit social media research project that gives people a chance to voice their stories of their struggles with depression. It aims to "highlight our most human attributes on social media to reignite human connection in the digital space" (halfthestoryproject.com) by giving people a platform that welcomes genuine and heartfelt conversation. It truly proves to us that we should reevaluate how we use social media and tells us that we can display our true selves online without hiding behind rainbows and butterflies all of the time.

Trisha Paytas, Tana Monageau and Mead. ("Fakeness" on Social Media).

Social media influencers have become a new brand of celebrity.

While many argue that these people “are famous for doing nothing”

and are “talentless” they are wrong.

These people have talent: manipulating social media in their favor,

regardless if they are beloved or somebody people love to hate.

One thing people love about social media celebrities is the degree

of intimacy that they receive. Viewers get a slice of their lives,

as it is seemingly all out on display.

They also can interact with them through sending fan mail,

tweeting at them, joining their patreon, etc.

While big A-listers are typically more reserved and private,

social media celebrities can actually benefit from having

a unrefined, messy, “relatable” life out to the public.

According to Humphreys, social media can be

interpreted as a diary. She states that “...the diary is an account of how

one has spent his or her day”, and with the rise of vlogging,

quite literally following someone around throughout their day,

there is not much difference between a physical journal and

a YouTube video, despite the much different platforms.

Trisha Paytas,a well known YouTuber, has been active

on the site for over 10 years. Her life essentially is social media;

as she gets paid through YouTube and Patreon

and doesn’t appear to have a career outside of that.

She gained a lot of her original popularity through her “Stripper Diaries”

series, where she read out of her journals from when she was a stripper.

She shared intimate parts of her life, such as how she got into stripping.

For many this would be an overwhelming amount to share on the internet,

especially considering our culture of slut shaming, but, she continues

to share her life, however good or bad it may be.

One of her most popular videos, with over 8 million views is called “we broke up because

I’m too fat”. In it she’s crying on the floor of her living room (which is actually a deviation

from the kitchen floor she is usually crying on), explaining her side of her and fellow

YouTuber Jason Nash’s breakup.

Completely contrasting from another popular YouTube couple, Liza Koshy and David Dobrik,

who had a relatively wholesome split, Trisha and Jason had one of the nastiest public

breakups in YouTube history.

 (Feel free to compare the above videos to one another).

They both wracked up views, though, so viewers don’t seem to

particularly care how people are breaking up, they only care that it’s being shared.

According to an article on The Verge, "breakups are their own genre of video on YouTube",

which rings somewhat true. But why is that? Why do people like peering into the lives of

complete strangers?

In the article Socialized Self: George Herbert Mead's Self, Mind and Society it’s stated that

“Mead saw that society was a very crucial component of the mind. He believed that

individuals carry society around with them in their minds, and this regulates how they behave.

The regulation, or habits and common responses of society, are learned through education.”

So in that case, if it is learned and conditioned that we are supposed to be private about our

relationships, especially the “bad” (breakups are not necessarily always bad) parts,

watching people deviate and publish their entire breakups, can be particularly fascinating and

enticing.

  

Another issue many have with social media is the concept of photo shopping.

Tana Monegau, YouTuber, has been called out (and self admitted to Face Tuning her pictures),

for this. While it is harmful to create unrealistic expectations of women's bodies, we could

argue that particularity flattering outfits and shape wear that dramatically change the body

can hold a similar amount of "fakeness" as FaceTune.

Is FaceTuning away a pimple "okay", such as putting on concealer would be?

Or is there a "line" that is crossed-- where things become "too" fake?

Tana and Trisha are both women who have no shortage of scandals, but also no shortage of

views.

There are compilation videos of Trisha caught lying, videos of her being nasty to others,

and even YouTube psychologists analyzing her relationship with her boyfriend (the one

I mentioned earlier. Hint: It’s still bad).

   

Tana had a convention where the security guards were fighting little girls, and people

were fainting from the sun. It’s almost hard to look away from such a train wreck.

Regardless of the intent of the people watching their videos, they're still making them,

and people are still watching. This is likely happening because their lives are seemingly messier,

and therefore way more interesting, than the average person. But, we also don’t really know

the average person as well as we think we do.

Scott Simon tweeting out his mother's final days is just as heart wrenching as it would be for him

to tell you in person, however I assure you there are people who would say he’s somehow “used”

her death to gain “something” (what, exactly?) Is grieving something that should be done alone?

How is it wrong to share your grief?

Because social media is relatively new, so people are still learning the “etiquette” of social media;

what’s “real” or “fake” and what should be considered for the public, or private.

But, this misunderstanding that we somehow “know” people, that we know what’s “fake”, can

still be done in person. No one can read your mind, and no one can tell

how you feel inside just because they’ve seen you in real life.

How many people do you know that are LGBTQ+? You’ll probably say the ones that are out,

but how are you supposed to know who’s queer

if they’re closeted? How many times have you heard the same story of the boy who was

always smiling and joking, then killed himself? Or the girl who was “naturally” thin who was

found out to have anorexia?

People are faking everything, all the time. It is learned, whether in real life or on social media,

to try to present the best version of yourself. But what if there are multiple versions of you?

Then what?

Mead suggests that we see ourselves not purely as an individual, but as a reflection of

compiled traits others have given to us. If that’s true, it explains why some people are so

quick to call social media fake. If in person, we are offered one set of traits (ex: happy,

outgoing), but on social media we’re given “new” traits (ex: depressed, anxious),

it can create discomfort.

People who are uncomfortable with being labeled opposing traits

will likely reject or disregard social media as fake to minimize dissonance,

instead of accepting that they are a complex, multidimensional individual.

I imagine, for social media stars such as Tana and Trisha,

who's generalized other is much larger than the average persons, it's easier to be "fake" and

cater to your fans, than to be "real". It's easier to photoshop and to tell exaggerated

stories about their lives; because if you don't do these things for viewers, you lose your income.

While a lot would say that social media is the cause of many problems,

I find social media itself to be neutral, it is only in how people respond that it could be

problematic. Downloading the twitter app, then doing nothing with it, does not create problems.

How can it?

An app cannot gain sentience and ruin your life. It is not social media promoting "fakeness",

but the way that it is used, and the people that are using it.

Again, people are complex, as well as hypocritical, but people are already that way.

Social media did nothing but provide a new platform.

Sources:

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2013/07/30/207032871/on-twitter-scott-simon-s-long-goodbye-to-his-mother

https://www.theverge.com/2018/6/6/17435218/liza-koshy-david-dobrik-youtube

http://www.everythingsociology.com/2014/03/socialization-george-herbert-meads-self.html