Remembrancing

Out of all the subjects we have discussed so far, for some reason Remembrancing still pulls me back to read and learn more about it. Humphreys describes Remembrancing as “…Creating and engaging with media traces to help us remember” (Humphry, 73). That concept is an interesting one, and the first thing that popped into my head, was how is that different from just keeping a scrapbook or something of that sort. With the rise of social media, I realized it was a lot easier to just keep track of everything online. In a sense, it’s harder to lose something that is documented online. You can’t lose it under the fridge, or behind the couch you never move. Things that are put online stay there forever, and in some cases, that doesn’t sit too well with people.

Honestly, I had no idea that Facebook profile graveyards were a thing until I read this chapter. Now that I am briefed on it, I just don’t get the aura around it. I get that it can be used to serve as reminder of what that person was, but what if that person didn’t want their profile to live on after they passed on? That’s the thought that always comes to mind when I think about a profile graveyard of sorts. To me, it’s haunting to look at the last post someone posted before they died. It symbolizes someone that was taken in the middle of their journey, and the fact that they don’t get to finish documenting their lives. It all just seems a bit unfinished to me, and I know for a fact I would want my profile taken down after I pass on.

Though, remembrancing indicates a larger meaning than the feelings of one person. It is the traces that one creates that tells the story of their lives for every second they lived it. To some people, that is a comforting process and they take Remembracing photos of the children they lost far to soon. To some, this may not seem like the most flattering thing, but I feel like grief is different for each person, and they need to deal with it however they see fit. Though, that is where the difficulty ensues. Facebook and sites like it have certain restrictions on what photos you can post onto their timeline. So, is it better for Facebook to just leave these types of photos alone, and let the families share their child to the world? Or is it more appropriate to have a specific place for things like these? Though, the question I posed I won’t be able to answer until I have gone through something similar and can really relate with what those families are going through.

Lastly, Facebook’s memories had to take some getting used to. Although it isn’t perfect as Humphreys points out when she was viewing her year in review “However, what I saw was a repetition of my daughter’s Halloween costume. This post had garnered the most likes… But this post was not my most important post” (Humphrey, 88). Like mentioned, ‘The Year In Review’ went off of your most liked photos, not nesessarily your most important ones. Humphreys also mentioned that it was never a photo of her alone, it was always with other people. However, the darker side of this new memory feature is one no one wants to encounter. The reason being that with people dying every day, most Facebook profiles get abandoned and never taken care of. So when you view back on memories and someone close to you that had a Facebook profile and died would show up on your memories. For some, that is not a sight they want to see, especially if there are photos of them. To some people they may be comforting, but I feel like if I see something like that, it could have the potential to ruin my day. On the other hand, like stated before, different people cope in different ways to trauma or losing a loved one.

In conclusion, this section of the book is by far the most interesting, because it is filled with subject matter that we usually wouldn’t just bring up in a conversation. Though, I feel like these things have to be addressed in the hopes that we can improve upon some of these features of memories, so it is a more pleasant experience for everyone involved. Everyone deals with grief differently, so something that is flexible and versatile would have to be introduced to give everyone less of a hard time when it comes to difficult topics such as Facebook profiles of their loved ones. To be fair to Facebook, they do have the ability to memorialize the profiles of the deceased, that way they are seen as a more respectful place for people to drop in and pay their condolences.

Citations: Humphreys, Lee, and Lee Humphreys. The Qualified Self: Social Media and the Accounting of Everyday Life. The MIT Press, 2018, pp. 73–90.