The Art Of Payback
Written By: Jacob Forton
Payback
- As defined in the google dictionary:
- 1. financial return or reward, especially profit equal to the initial outlay of an investment.
- 2. an act of revenge or retaliation.
Payback is interesting to me because as human beings we have been in a situation where we have experienced both paybacks. For example, when one of our friends pays for our meal because you forgot your wallet, therefore you pay them back by buying them a meal next time you guys go out, or initially give them the money back later. But also the other type of payback where we get betrayed by our friends and so we want to go the extra mile to make sure they get their karma or "exposed" for their wrong doings. One word, two completely different motives! As one is used for gratitude and the other is used out of anger and sometimes envy. It makes me wonder, how strong do our emotions play a role in our decision making?
Giving Back
In addition to payback, if we look at it in terms of the 1st definition, it is crazy to see how the world has transformed and we can easily pay others back via socially with our personal devices because of banking apps like cash app, zelle, Venmo, etc. You begin to think sometimes you don't even need to carry a wallet when going out because someone at the restaurant or place of entertainment will be able to spot you since everyone has at least one of these apps. However, is the art of payback almost expected now a days, or are we as humans taking actions based off our goodness inside of our hearts? Thats a hard question, that only we can answer for ourselves. I know for me, I will spot someone because it is in my heart to be generous, but I am also aware that if a time comes up and I don't feel like paying, I can use the generous act as a way to manipulate my friend into covering me back as payback for the kind act that I did previously. Is this morally wrong? Or do we humans just always expect payback?
The Gift
Furthermore, as a class we read "The Gift" by Marcel Mauss. Inside the text, what I learned was that the exchange of objects between groups builds relationships between humans. As I spend time thinking about that statement, it doesn't make me feel as bad when I pay for others and then expect something in return. Ultimately this allows me to grow my relationship with others because if anything it shows that they can depend on me and I can depend on them to get me back. Although gifts and payback go hand in hand, what if we have peers who never seem to pay us back but you love being within their presence, does this make the relationship weak? Or are they truly even our friends? I feel as if we have to be careful because these types of people could just be using us because they know the kinds of hearts we have and they always claim they will pay us back but when the time comes it always falls through. When these peers with the no motive of paying back come across us, after being burned once or twice, it can lead to the second definition of payback where you plan to hurt those people or set them up to make them look bad for using you.
Respond Accordingly
Gifts are often appreciated, however the choice to payback someone once they gifted you is only up to you. Too many times we feel as if when we do good deeds, we deserve goodness back in our lives but I am here to tell you that isn't always true and sometimes life is hard. When you respond with emotions out of your control that's when we tend to get in trouble and partake in the wrong type of payback. However with the use of social media, payback has seemed to be easier because you can gift others through these social apps, and can also wrongly pay them back by making a disturbing post about how they screwed you over. If it were me I would be careful who you call a friend, and would recommend you respond based off of your knowledge. I will say that when you do fill your life with those people that want to see you win and are willing to help you out knowing their gift will improve your satisfaction, the payback in itself will be special because those people are loving and showcasing their gratitude towards you.
Just like any relationship, when two people work together, it brings forth comfort and builds a strong bond that is hard to break.
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