It Really Be Your Own Self

The “I,” the “Me,” and Social Mead-ia

George Herbert Mead introduces the idea of the “I” vs the “me,” which basically means that there are two parts to us/our identity. The part of us who we actually are and guides our thoughts and actions is our “I,” while the part of us that others see of us is our “me.” Mead’s idea of the “I” and “me” are easily seen through our use of social media today. We try so hard to separate our actual selves and how we appear online. Social media can be a great opportunity for us to showcase our “best self” to others. We get to be in control of what others see about us and create a narrative for ourselves that we design. You would think that with all of this power over our profiles that there would be no flaws and only the best parts about us. Unfortunately for us, we let who we really are slip into our fake self’s appearance on our social media.

Don’t Put All of Yourself Out There

We all know what it’s like when people share a little too much about themselves. I’m talking about your relatives on Facebook who share those extreme fake news posts without doing any fact checking that just make them look bad (Grandma, there is a fine line for acceptable FB posts and you definitely just crossed it), or those individuals on Twitter that think for whatever reason it’s okay to be a racist. You’re probably thinking of a few examples in your head right now and can get the idea I’m going for here. This is a wonderful example of how Mead’s theory is at play on social media. We are trying so desperately to form a new identity of ourselves online, but our “real” self just has to get in the way of how we want others to see us, and that is the point at which we start having issues.

The Online Witch Hunt for Celebrities

Unfortunately for celebrities, they’re under the spotlight at all times, meaning there are always thousands, if not millions, waiting for the moment to rip apart these people for any slip up they may have online. There are also those who will go back to dig up old posts from years back in order to make these celebrities’ lives a living hell. One instance I remember this happening recently had to do with Kevin Hart. It was announced that Hart would be the host of the 2019 Oscars and there was a lot of talk online about it, but not for good reason. There were a series of homophobic tweets that were posted by Hart dating back to 2009 (click here if you’re dying to know exactly what these tweets are). This is a great example of when our “I” gets in the way of our “me,” unfortunately for Kevin. What really is the unfortunate part about this is that Hart already apologized for this series of tweets previously, however when it was announced that he was set to host the Oscars, these posts were brought up again to haunt him. Kevin Hart ended up stepping down as the Oscars host because he received so much criticism. There actually ended up being no host for the Oscars at all it was such a big deal.

This is an extreme case of the repercussions you might face if your “I,” that is your terrible self, gets in the way of your social media self, however it does teach us a good lessons. One, if you’re going to create a narrative of your self online, it might be in your best interest to keep that in check and don’t let your true homophobic self get in the way (if you’re going to be a shitty person keep it to yourself). Also, everything you post on social media can and will be used against you. The internet is a cruel place, tread lightly.

Another recent episode of the witch hunt for celebrities online was for Camila Cabello (poor girl). What seemed to be out of nowhere, there were many (many) old Tumblr posts that were brought to light that showed posts by Cabello making jokes about African Americans, domestic abuse, and xenophobic, just to name a few (again click here if you’re curious as to how bad it really is). Camila was only 15 at the time of these posts, but that didn’t stop internet trolls from ripping her apart. It just goes to show that everything you put out there for the world to be seen, is really going to be seen.

We probably won’t ever feel this kind of criticism on this sort of scale, but if we post something just bad enough, it can cost us our personal relationships or even our jobs. Employers look at your social media profiles for a reason, they want to dig up every bit of your “I” that they can get their hands on. Also, people probably won’t respond well to your racist/xenophobic/homophobic posts online, just a thought.

Just Don’t Be Stupid

It’s funny because we always hear the apologies, the promises of “it’ll never happen again,” and the “I’ve grown as a person since then,” yet it still keeps happening. We can try to control our “me’s” as much as we want, but ultimately it’s up to others about how we appear to them. Our “I’s” are going to be shown at some point, it’s just a matter of when. It could be revealed in an Instagram comment, or a Tweet, or a Snapchat story, but one of these days we’re going to post something online that is going to be taken in a different way than what we intended. It’s also funny to me that you would think we would get better as we grow older, but there’s still so many adults that get caught for their horrible social media posts. So I guess what I’m saying is that this doesn’t get better with time, just don’t let your actual self ruin your social media presence if you have this fake “happy and thriving” version of yourself online when you’re actually dying inside.