How Do I Break Up With My Phone?

It's no secret that phones have become experts at hijacking the attention spans of its users. That's because we are being trained to check them and rely on them. Your phone probably knows more about you than your mom. Your phone was there when you were crying in the middle of the night because the guy who (for the record) has been giving you nothing but red flags finally screwed you over like you knew he would. Or the time you had to use the bathroom at the 7/11 because it was an EMERGENCY. Your phone will be with you during all of the milestones your future has to offer as well as the hard days to come. Is it a fair trade? On the one hand, you get a relationship on the other it's not very healthy.

Our phones are needy, they need attention in the middle of the night. They need attention during class, during weddings, and during that interview you have been waiting to get for months. Could the answer be aversion therapy? That has never really worked, has it? After all, we usually stay in a bad relationship for too long.

As our brain starts to learn how to switch back and forth between phones and tasks it becomes a habit that creates a conflict with our focus attentiveness because we now cannot unplug. The distraction becomes normal and we start to crave it. It's like a cigarette; crave the release.

So why do we do it? Why do we spend hours on our phones when we know it isn't healthy? The answer is because our phone gives us intermittent rewards. Operate conditioning is the base of this idea and originated as a method for training animals. Facebook uses the method of intermittent rewards to keep you scrolling, Yes you.

How does it do this? Have you ever got a notification and wondered why? Why did I get that? And you think to yourself that you don't care that Betty from high school posted her first Facebook story. Then the next thing you know you are checking it anyway. I'm guilty of that myself. Not only did you see her story but now you are 15 stories deep from people you don't even remember... Facebook wins again.

So Basically, you get a notification and then you wonder, what is it? So you check it and it was worth it, it was so worth it. Then you get another and it was again worth it. Another one appears but this time it wasn't a cat video it was instead a political tweet. (yuck) So not worth it. But you still sit there and wait for the next because the last two out of three were so worth it.

How do you know when you have fallen subject to operate conditioning? If you are the person who takes there phone into the kitchen for a snack, then chances are you are a victim of operate conditioning only this isn't as simple as a mouse realizing when he pushes the button cheese falls out of the box.

We are in an unhealthy relationship with our devices and we don't know how to break it off. We may not want to admit that the tiny devices we created are taking over our lives, nobody wants to admit defeat, but we are defeated. It's to the point where what we once created as a tool has become a handicap. One day the top skill on a resume is going to be Focus and a long Attention span, the sad part is that skill is going to be hard to find.

If it is easier to read a tweet or listen to a TikTok of someone praying chances are you are too far gone. So why not just unplug?

Unplugging isn't as easy as it may seem. When you put your phone away are you actually unplugging or is your mind just occupied by the addiction? You are left wondering do I have a message? should I check my phone? Even when we aren't on our phones and technically "unplugging" we have a disrupt in our cognitive performance, therefore we can never truly unplug.

So what does the addiction leave you with? Separation anxiety. Have you ever got up to go to the kitchen to get a snack and find yourself taking your nearly dead phone off the charger just in case Facebook decides to tell you that Betty BFF just posted her first story? Trust me, you don't want to miss that! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you have got it too, yeah I'm talking about separation anxiety.

Who would we be without the creation of our phones and the distraction that comes with them? They were initially made to create, to help to enable us to do things we couldn't before, you think they would help, in a sense they do. But they are also a big fat handicap. Our phones have been a huge factor in the downfall of humanity's success.

I've actually picked up the phone about 56 times while writing this blog, I've forgotten ideas and then remembered some. I've got a couple of text and watched a video of a dog trying to steal a plate off the dinner table. I have also had to deal with the noise coming from my 10-year-old brother's YouTube video nearly the entirety of the time I have been working. Was it worth the extra three and a half hours it took to write this blog? Absolutely not. But can I even try to change it...?

Yeah, I think my cognitive performance is shot... which means I can't tell you how to break up with your phone.

Phone Zombies

Phoneeeeeee, I need phoneeeeeee. Yes, that is the type of zombie that is addicted to phones rather than eating brains. AKA, us.

Our class discussions have taken that dreadful turn from the general "we use our phones too much" to now we are muppets being controlled by our devices. What does "muppet" mean in this context? To me, it meant that the strings were pulling us away from our tasks to check our phones, but almost in a sense of that we had no choice but to check. Why do we do this? Why must we constantly check our phones if we know we have something important to do (like this blog post)? When asked what percent muppet I was in class, I answered about 50%. I then thought about my answer literally just now and I no longer agreed... I am more like 75% muppet. I check my phone way too much during literally anything. Maybe it's so I don't have to worry about being called on, maybe it's because I want to avoid social situations all together, who knows.

wsy_irena

My phone addiction honestly probably started in 6th grade when I first got an iPhone. This new phone, which was an upgrade from my first flip phone, was like a piece of gold in my hands; so priceless and special to me. I could text and call all my friends and family, I could play games on it whenever I wanted, it was amazing. I remember times during school where my teachers would catch me on my phone and I had to wait until the end of the day to have my parent pick it up and I thought well what the hell am I gonna do now?? Duh, you're going to learn Paige, you're in school to LEARN. Even at dinner with my friends one time they had all of us put our phones face down in the middle so we could talk and socialize yet I threw a hissy fit because then I wouldn't be able to talk to my boyfriend. Pathetic right?

So, where did we learn to get into the habit of constantly checking our phones? This brings us back to the unit where we discussed how we feel the need to be on our phones to capture certain moments. Sure, our phones are with us pretty much at all times but we don't always need to be on them right? Well, speaking for myself, I use it when I go to the bathroom, when I'm eating, doing homework and even during special occasions. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do after turning my alarm off is check the weather. I then take it with me to the bathroom so I can check social media while I brush my teeth. Tomorrow night I'm going to a concert, will I record the concert instead of just being there in the moment and watching/listening? 100% yes. I don't know what it is, but just being in the moment isn't enough for me, I like to have memories of these events that I can look back on in the future and reminisce on it. We learned to constantly be checking our phones because they are there for us through pretty much anything and everything. Was it there for me when I'm sad over a boy? Yes. Was it there for me when I got an offer from TLU to play volleyball here? Yes. Was it there for me when I failed an important test? Yes. The answer is always yes. Our phones are there for us in a way that other people aren't. My iPhone doesn't judge me or tell me something that I don't want to hear, instead it allows me to isolate myself on social media apps and games and not have to interact with the outside world if I don't feel like it.

Lately, I really have been trying to cut down on my phone usage when I'm with other people because I feel like they deserve to have my attention rather than my nose be stuck in my phone while we hang out. My boyfriend has recently been pointing out to me that I am on my phone a lot when the two of us are together and how he tries to stay off his so he can give me his attention rather than his phone. This obviously made me feel guilty because he deserves my attention too. One night he asked me, "Do you think you could go a full day without your phone and be completely fine?" My answer was a very hesitant yes. He bet that I couldn't go even 20 minutes without it max. This obviously offended me but he was right. I do feel the constant need to always be in the know about everything between checking Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and even TikTok where I spend an hour or two just mindlessly watching dumb videos. I recalled that my phone usage used to tell me I spent about 7-8 hours a day on my phone. I just looked at my current usage for the past 10 days and I was only off my phone for 1 hour and 40 minutes... yikes. I've been getting better at not being on my phone as much when I am in social situations but I know there's still some work that needs to be done. It is very safe to say that I am a social media zombie.

Roses are red, dinner is for two, but we’re on our phones, wait, who the hell are you?

CADY COHEN

Do you take this iPhone11 to be your wedded partner, and to live together in marriage? 

The greatest love story is someone who is with you through the very peaks and lows of your life, who is always there for you.  They remind you that everything will be okay, no matter what time or circumstance, and that they are the joy you need in your life. I'm not talking about movies like, "To all the boys I loved before" or the "Kissing Booth" of Netflix, I'm talking about real love and that's the connection we have with our cell phones. You've heard me, this piece of technology has it all and meets if not all of our needs and wants, most people can't even do that!  But is the problem that we value it more than life itself?

The safe answer would be no, but that doesn't justify why we're staring at our phones in a single day over 200 times. Our phones are described as our life lines, something we can not survive without. Telephones do everything from keeping our social media linked, listening to music during a workout, cooking the recipe we found online, checking your bank account to see how broke you are after visiting Whataburger. It's no wonder how our phones affect our everyday lives; basically, we're using it for everything. It's a treasure and I would say even more of a treasure than our loved ones.

I'm not saying that if it comes to us choosing between them in a life / death situation, we wouldn't choose our loved ones but if you think about it, who do you engage most with in a single day? Your smartphones, or those you love? I am in college so I have to use my phone to check in on my relatives, but I have found that I don't check in with them as much as I do with my phone. It's not easy to deal with phones and a lot of that is just customary.

Health Boosters

I admit when I wake up in the morning that the first thing I do is reach and look at my device. Currently I shut my alarm, get up, go to the bathroom and bring my phone with me. Possibly the last thing we do every night is turn our alarms on but check Facebook quickly while we have it open. We are all guilty. We've checked the weather before our feet hit the floor, read the news and responded to emails. No trouble. There's always the feeling of panic around our phones, like when your phone's dying and you don't have the charger or dropping your phone and being pillaged with fear that you have damaged it. I know it would be disturbing to lose my cell. One day I remember running over my phone with my car, later I found it on the road and my heart had shattered just like the tempered glass. I couldn't wait to have a phone so I got a new one that same day. I know, I suck.

Forget the coronavirus virus!  

Dominique René

The addiction to smartphones is a massive epidemic that has taken hold of the planet. I don't actually suggest it's a lethal virus, but it's a definite distraction with the relentless loss of moments from here and now.  I swear to myself that I never want to be that person but it seems difficult to get away sometimes. I always keep my phone around me at all times, I still feel compelled to check it out and worry that if I don't, any important information could be missing. I don't think we recognize even when we don't look at our phones and have them put away our brain goes elsewhere. This is something that is really counterproductive to our capacity to consider what we should be doing. Receiving notification distracts people and when I'm in class, listening to my instructor and my phone vibrates? I look down for a split second and then it just turns into a rabbit hole and I'm already forgetting what the professor is saying by the time I crawl out. It's insane to see how reliant we our on our cell phones. It is our fault that we give it too much power by making it be part of our social connections, news, work, all.

Till Death Do Us Part

I always find it amazing to know that our phone is likely to be the only one that will see us die and be with us at that time. Smartphones are as equally important as anything else in our lives. I'm not trying to bash the existences of devices, because I love my smartphone and the great value of entertainment. While we sometimes go down the rabbit hole of social media, it also allows us working folk to keep up with friends, family, and news. It also celebrates diversity and when watching funny cat videos that gives us joy. I'd say we just have to rein it in and take control of social media and not the other way around.

The Attention Tension

Let’s give some attention to our attention.

I propose a challenge: Can you get through this article without getting distracted? I bet not. But you get a gold star if you do!

Attention

Access to valuable information use to be very limited. Life was much slower, and people had the time to attend and truly engage with most of the information they were presented with.  It wasn’t until the last couple decades that we’ve seen a transition from sacred information to abundant information. Now, as you know it, we are engulfed into a rabbit hole of information. It’s a strange liminal of tension and satisfaction. We are pulled left, click right, scroll down and swipe up.

Our greatest commodity in the digital age is our eyeballs. Yup, not our money, our eyeballs- our attention. Tech companies compete on who can design the most eyeball-attention-worthy content. They offer viewers ‘free’ softwares (Apps) full of content and we pay our dues with our attention. Our attention is a valuable and limited resource. So, of course they would monetize it, duh. Ever-not-so-slyly they interrupt our YouTube binges and scrolling frenzies with Ads to make the real bang for 

their buck.

Squirrel!

James William author of Stand Out of Our Light made a very interesting point. He asks, ‘what is the goal of these tech companies? What exactly is its function designed to do? Mmmh, they don’t serve a functional purpose like a toothbrush or a shoe. Isn’t it supposed to make our lives more convenient? Well I guess that was the initial intention. But for some reason, many of us feel more distracted than ever.

To paint the picture, he gives the analogy of a GPS. Its function is to guide us to our destination. Simple enough, right? But what if it took us off-roading, got us lost, turned us around, and rerouted us adding a whopping extra 30 minutes to our destination? Who would buy a product like this? Why would you pay for something you know doesn’t do its job?

Ding!

Designing People

It is no secret that products are designed to cue behaviors ours of consumers. With the constant innovation of products, the old can become quite insatiable, rather fast. Products initially fulfill their functional duties in the market, they start to train people to do the desired thing, they get comfortable and then ask for more from consumers. Just like a toothbrush is designed to influence people to routinely brush their teeth and shoes are meant to be worn on our feet. Now, a normal toothbrush isn’t enough, you need the electric one. And do I even need to address your shoe collection?

We see this same pattern play out in the digital world. We downloaded Facebook to socially connect with our friends and family. Sixteen years later, every few scrolls are an Ad, a funny video, then a product to purchase, an irrelevant notification, another valuable post, an interesting post and an in-app link to a website. Apps are designed to suck as much attention out of us as possible.

Products are persuasively designed to influence people to participate in desired behaviors.  This type of persuasive design uses variable rewards or variable ratio schedules to latch onto the consumer. We are rewarded with something we like just the right amount of times to keep us motivated to keep scrolling. Yeah, we may get annoyed by an Ad, but we come to terms with sacrificing our attention to an Ad in exchange to see another valuable post.

In 2017, Sean Parker, a Facebook founder, spilled the tea that “the thought process [behind Facebook] was all about how we can consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible.” Certainly, this isn’t the people’s goal for using social media. *Automatically picks up phone*. Psychologist team up with tech companies to design software’s with the intention to get the viewer ‘hooked’.

This has become the average dynamic of our iPhone-to-consumer relationship. Specifically, the Apps we download and the notifications the iPhone reinforces. Of course, we think of our phone as our sidekick. It always shows up, with all the right answers.  It’s there through thick and thin. Not to mention it captures all or best and worst moments. It gets us. It knows what we like to see and what we don’t. It’s like an external brain that lives within a 2 feet radius of us, 24 hour a day, 7 days a week. Unless… God forbid, it cracks or dies and cues separation anxiety. *Knocks on wood*.

Forget the glorification. My phone went off nearly 10 times writing that paragraph alone. It’s begging for my attention. Light. Buzz. Ding. ‘Stop. Look! Someone’s typing…!!!! Never mind. Ding. Look! New Snap!’. It’s so annoying yet so tempting… And you know what I did… I picked that bastard up. It got me.

What do we do with all this information? Do we change our ways? Probably not. It’s important, at the very least, to be aware of how you interact with these technologies. Ask yourself if you are willingly giving your attention to them or are you being manipulated? Do you get a gold star?

Approaching Apocalyptic America (and the rest of the world)

https://bit.ly/2TwCvl9

Post apocalyptic movies and games are things that have swept across pop culture on numerous occasions, be it in the form of zombie movies to the Fallout franchise. There’s this strange sort of allure to these things, this idea that we will one day reach this point in society where everything begins to break down. However, would it be wrong to say that this sort of thing is already happening? Perhaps not to a massive extent: Society is still stable, there aren’t any zombies running around, and the world isn’t filled with radioactive monsters roaming the badlands. Still, to say that we’re not approaching this apocalyptic point would be wrong. It’s just coming in a much more different way than we could have anticipated.

          

  In James Williams’ book Stand out of our Light, a chapter that really interested me was chapter four. In here, we see him talking about this idea of an “iTrainer” which, lo and behold, is basically the idea of the iPhone. The chapter goes on to talk about how this device can regulate our lives, and basically control nearly every facet of our waking lives. This is absolutely true in many ways. I can’t remember a day when I didn’t use my phone for more than an hour out of my day. It’s just something we’ve gotten used to, something that’s ingrained within our society to such a point that we would be lost without them. We are so dependent on our technology that we use it to solve even the most basic problems in our lives (no one can say they’ve never met someone who needed to use a calculator to figure out what 1+1 was).

          

Now I’m sure some people are wondering why I’m talking about technology and phones when the topic of the blog is about post-apocalyptic things. The reason, however, is pretty interesting. I would propose that we’re already on our way to this sort of post-apocalyptic world in a faster way than we could have imagined, due to technology in our lives.

           

The argument that technology is supposed to make our lives better is one that I’m fairly accustomed with. I’ve used it a few times when talking to my parents, since they criticize my use of Youtube (even though watching TV is almost the exact same thing). However, I could also see it in the opposite way. Because we depend so much on technology, we become lazy and complacent. Creativity when it comes to technology begins to deteriorate, due to bigger companies owning monopolies on certain types of technologies (Apple and Samsung to name a few). Our technological advancement, then, is dependent on these companies when they come out with bigger, better things to help make us even lazier.

          

Now imagine, for a moment, what might happen if all this technology fails us suddenly. Just, one day, it all stops, with wifi being taken down all across the world, phone lines and cellular devices unable to work, and all electricity ceasing. What might happen then? We could still work, still do things, and everything would be fine. However, to almost everyone, this might put us into an apocalyptic setting. With everything breaking, everything stopping, it would cause a world-wide panic. We’d probably start riots at this big companies, turn to other means of finding entertainment that might be more shady than good, and turn to anarchy in many ways all around the world. This is because we’ve become utter slaves to our technology to the point that we can’t go a single day without turning something on, be it for our own entertainment, our jobs, or to simply function as human beings. In this way, although different than in games like Fallout or zombie movies, we would find ourselves lost in this apocalyptic wasteland of our own making.

            

https://bit.ly/3cEu52K

Of course, this is an extreme view of what might happen if all of our electronics and tech stopped working. It’d be strange to imagine that, since people can’t watch TV anymore, they might go watch underground fight pits to get their fix. However, it’s also hard to say that something wouldn’t happen if everything just shut off one day. It would be impossible to say that a mass panic wouldn’t break out, or that people would begin to riot. All of that would more than likely happen. Our dependence on technology is so great that seeing it go could be enough to cause some people to lose their collective minds. I speak for myself when I say that I would probably be extremely pissed off if I couldn’t get my fix of Youtube or video games. It’s become an integral part of my life now, something that helps to relieve stress as much as possible. To take that away would cause some sort of emotion inside of me. Though, if it were to be enough to start a riot or something might be a bit too much, even for me.

Am I Captive to My Phone?

This discussion has recently taken a turn from the original "you spend too much time on your phone", to how we are slaves to our phones. I hate to do it but I have to be honest with myself about the situation I'm in. I am typically picking up my phone every five just to browse through the same applications I always do. I have to be very captivated by what I'm doing to not habitually be checking my phone. I think more recently I have become more dependent on my phone because I use it to distract me when I'm having some anxiety. Do the hours of screen time everyday take me out of reality in a good way or a negative way? I think user by user this differs, but I am going to oppose the masses and say that this escape from reality can be very positive in certain ways.

Too much of anything is obviously a bad thing, but their could be worst vises to turn to than our phones. Tons of Americans turn to drugs or alcohol to change the way they feel or mentally escape the situation they're currently in. Our phones can be absolutely addictive but, can they be THAT destructive to us? Just as anything else our phones do too much to us mentally or emotionally when we use them as a coping mechanism. Although I believe this I think our phones are a lot better than other things we would possibly use in this way. Watching a little youtube is so much more healthier than drinking or using drugs. I think we associate screen time with social media obsessions naturally but not all screen time leads us to have negative thoughts about ourselves or comparing ourselves to others.

https://i1.pickpik.com/photos/914/466/503/blur-cellphone-close-up-focus-thumb.jpg

I think it's possible that sometimes we need that time to relieve a little stress. Is it really the end of the world to use our phones to escape what's going on for a little bit? If our phones never became 'a thing' we wouldn't need them, I think this type of mindset is why everyone puts a negative connotation on screen time. Why is it so frowned upon to use our phones as tools to escape reality or give ourselves a little pleasure mentally, because this is what we're told.I think we need stop thinking it's the end of the world if we're on our phones for more than two hours a day. Let's put light on the positivity of these breaks from what's going on in our lives, whether it's a break from homework or a break from a failing relationship this can be positive.

We won't be able to see the positive effect it could have on us until we are able to define what screen time in moderation is. There's never going to be an effective way to deal with the negatives but I believe we can find efectful and reliable ways to use this positively.

The Death of Hobbies

When I was interviewed for my current job, I prepared for any possible question and looked up how to phrase my answers perfectly. I found a great outfit and got there 15 minutes early. I made sure to have good posture and be extremely polite. Everything seemed to be going well until I was asked what hobbies I had. This seemed like a no-brainer and I could think of a dozen hobbies that others may have (sports, playing an instrument, making art, volunteering at places, building things, reading, etc.) but I couldn’t think of a single one that applies to me. Watching Netflix hardly counts and other than that, my days were full to the brim of working, going to school, studying, and occasionally going out with friends. I could not think of a spare minute I had to add in a hobby even if I wanted to! This was only until my phone kindly displayed my weekly screen time report- 4 hours a day! I didn’t even know I had a spare 4 hours a day and if I did, I would probably use it on a nap. My usage was mostly YouTube, TikTok, and Twitter, which makes sense because I tend to play videos while getting ready or eating even if I do not spend the time watching them.

In our most recent reading for class, James Williams emphasizes the power informational technologies have against us rather than in our favor. His focus is the consumption of our attention stolen by these devices and ultimately pulling us further from our goals that really matter. Williams illustrates a hypothetical example of the ITrainer that hits far too close to our reality today. Accordingly, he imagines a devices or form of technology that was created solely to make users more weak-willed and impulsive. The first 5 chapters of his book stem on the idea that our attention has be redirected and to a goal that is not ours, but instead belonging to the creators of these devices. The consequences of being so attached and dependent on our phones, computers, and every bell or chime that comes from a notification extends far beyond the loss of face-to-face interactions, but can change our routines, values, and our ability to become who we aspire to be.

In contrast to my prior blogs, dwelling on how to perfect a post, what brings viewers, and the revival of music through Tiktok, this reading forced me to consider the point of it all. Williams asks readers to consider what their life goals are and what they think of first thing in the morning. Personally, I have made it my goal to become a trauma counselor and possibly become an advocate of children in the future. However, my 4 hours a day of YouTube, TikTok, and Twitter don’t seem to be a step forward in this process. I’d like to clarify, though. Not every action you take throughout the day should or could possibly be geared toward your life goals. Watching Desperate Housewives is enjoyable, but it does nothing for my future. That’s ok. The point, instead, is that if these things are rooted in technology, they may begin to consume more and more of your time and energy without you noticing.

When (ironically) searching online for hobby ideas, I found an article which feeds into Williams’ point. Suggested “Millennial Hobbies” provided here include online and mobile shopping, Netflix binging, social media branding, and insta-exploring. The issue is that indulging in a hobby implies a pleasure derived from this activity. Mindlessly adding to your amazon cart, although relatable, does not count. Hobbies that count and are not terrible include painting, running, reading, gardening, playing with pets, visiting a market, cooking a new recipe, etc. These aren’t just activities that kids do and later age out of, but are the tiny acts of self-care that dissipate the feeling of burnout.

My proposal is not to throw your phone in the ocean or go live in the woods without electricity, but to find a hobby. This goes for me as well. The buzz of a text or ring of an Instagram like can’t come first. Let’s instead, place it a few spots lower in the list of our priorities. That’s not too hard, is it? It just might be. Especially for those who grew up with very few limitations on phone/computer use, the appeal to sit and scroll is present and it’s pretty powerful. Some people have careers that depend on their ability to respond quickly to a notification. Nonetheless, I challenge you (and myself) with the task of looking up your daily usage and trying to knock it down by 10%. Make that 20% if you want to be the overachiever. Feel free to comment any results and/or epiphanies.