How Do I Break Up With My Phone?

It's no secret that phones have become experts at hijacking the attention spans of its users. That's because we are being trained to check them and rely on them. Your phone probably knows more about you than your mom. Your phone was there when you were crying in the middle of the night because the guy who (for the record) has been giving you nothing but red flags finally screwed you over like you knew he would. Or the time you had to use the bathroom at the 7/11 because it was an EMERGENCY. Your phone will be with you during all of the milestones your future has to offer as well as the hard days to come. Is it a fair trade? On the one hand, you get a relationship on the other it's not very healthy.

Our phones are needy, they need attention in the middle of the night. They need attention during class, during weddings, and during that interview you have been waiting to get for months. Could the answer be aversion therapy? That has never really worked, has it? After all, we usually stay in a bad relationship for too long.

As our brain starts to learn how to switch back and forth between phones and tasks it becomes a habit that creates a conflict with our focus attentiveness because we now cannot unplug. The distraction becomes normal and we start to crave it. It's like a cigarette; crave the release.

So why do we do it? Why do we spend hours on our phones when we know it isn't healthy? The answer is because our phone gives us intermittent rewards. Operate conditioning is the base of this idea and originated as a method for training animals. Facebook uses the method of intermittent rewards to keep you scrolling, Yes you.

How does it do this? Have you ever got a notification and wondered why? Why did I get that? And you think to yourself that you don't care that Betty from high school posted her first Facebook story. Then the next thing you know you are checking it anyway. I'm guilty of that myself. Not only did you see her story but now you are 15 stories deep from people you don't even remember... Facebook wins again.

So Basically, you get a notification and then you wonder, what is it? So you check it and it was worth it, it was so worth it. Then you get another and it was again worth it. Another one appears but this time it wasn't a cat video it was instead a political tweet. (yuck) So not worth it. But you still sit there and wait for the next because the last two out of three were so worth it.

How do you know when you have fallen subject to operate conditioning? If you are the person who takes there phone into the kitchen for a snack, then chances are you are a victim of operate conditioning only this isn't as simple as a mouse realizing when he pushes the button cheese falls out of the box.

We are in an unhealthy relationship with our devices and we don't know how to break it off. We may not want to admit that the tiny devices we created are taking over our lives, nobody wants to admit defeat, but we are defeated. It's to the point where what we once created as a tool has become a handicap. One day the top skill on a resume is going to be Focus and a long Attention span, the sad part is that skill is going to be hard to find.

If it is easier to read a tweet or listen to a TikTok of someone praying chances are you are too far gone. So why not just unplug?

Unplugging isn't as easy as it may seem. When you put your phone away are you actually unplugging or is your mind just occupied by the addiction? You are left wondering do I have a message? should I check my phone? Even when we aren't on our phones and technically "unplugging" we have a disrupt in our cognitive performance, therefore we can never truly unplug.

So what does the addiction leave you with? Separation anxiety. Have you ever got up to go to the kitchen to get a snack and find yourself taking your nearly dead phone off the charger just in case Facebook decides to tell you that Betty BFF just posted her first story? Trust me, you don't want to miss that! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you have got it too, yeah I'm talking about separation anxiety.

Who would we be without the creation of our phones and the distraction that comes with them? They were initially made to create, to help to enable us to do things we couldn't before, you think they would help, in a sense they do. But they are also a big fat handicap. Our phones have been a huge factor in the downfall of humanity's success.

I've actually picked up the phone about 56 times while writing this blog, I've forgotten ideas and then remembered some. I've got a couple of text and watched a video of a dog trying to steal a plate off the dinner table. I have also had to deal with the noise coming from my 10-year-old brother's YouTube video nearly the entirety of the time I have been working. Was it worth the extra three and a half hours it took to write this blog? Absolutely not. But can I even try to change it...?

Yeah, I think my cognitive performance is shot... which means I can't tell you how to break up with your phone.