Who am I or who am I pretending to be?
I was intrigued by
this idea if I am my own person and what it means
to be exactly your own self. We discussed Mead's self-image theory in
class and how others play a role in how we perceive ourselves. Cooley also had
the same idea but took a different direction on how the process is
executed. Mead thought this mechanism was more restrictive and thought
that at certain times in our life only certain people might affect us, while
Cooley thought that anybody we could encounter in life could impact us in some
way. Mead also claimed that kids are not really affected by others as they see
themselves as their only priority, not caring what anyone else thinks
of them.
Wanna play?
Mead argues that as
we grow up and become more conscious we begin to care about what others think
of us. There are three stages Mead believes we are going through which are the
stage of preparation, the stage of play and the stage of game. Through the
Preparatory stage, children act by imitating what others do, but as they grow
older they begin to lock in on real communication. It occurs in the forms of
one another's words, gestures and other modes of communication. Kids are aware
of social interactions during the play period, as when they appear to be
interacting as other people. Now they can take on the roles of
others. The game stage is where children's social understandings become clearer
and build a "other" based on their social generalization. They've
just developed a whole picture of what society is and what society expects of
them. This is also the stage when children understand that one person could be
playing several roles in life. They finally begin to realize that we all have to
have opinions about each other and we make that assumption based on what we are
doing and saying. That's how we get concerned about what others think when we
do something or say something.
Still at my side? I
know, I know, just read on.
The more evolving
aspect of the game stage is that children do not necessarily care about what
everyone thinks about them, but about what the important people in their lives
think which lead to the I and ME development.
I am ME? And nudity…
The ME is our
social-self and the I is the response to the me. The "ME" is how we think the "others"
look at us and what we know from our encounters with others and the
"I" analyzes what those things may mean. For example, the “ME”
understands that if you go out in public, you must have clothes on while the
“I” might wonder why in other countries it is okay to be naked in public. The "ME" is simply the perception of
society, and the "I" is our personal reactions to what society thinks
of us.
I know that your
brain just blew up and you're now questioning your nature, but Mead always
claimed that the person we are is really a combination of both the
"I" and the "ME." It's your decision on how much each weighs in your life.
Whatawho?
I work in fast-food and when it comes to
how we should act and address customers, there is a lot of pressure put on employees. I (almost) always use my "customer voice" in that
environment, meaning I wouldn't use my obnoxious voice that I
typically use with my friends. Even my customer voice could unintentionally
shift when I get a rude costumer in the drive-through. If they give me bad
attitude I tend to give back bad attitude not necessarily meaning too. The
"ME" knows how to act in front of costumers, but the "I" is
wondering why I have to keep acting politely to someone who is disrespectful to
me. It's also confusing when my friends come in to eat because I have to
determine if I'm using my customer's voice because others are listening or if I'm
talking to them regularly that might be more playful. I note that I
unconsciously adjust to some circumstances, just the other day I was placing an
order and the guy who was placing the order had a thick country accent. I noticed that my voice had changed and started to have that
southern twang as I was speaking to him and repeating his order back. At work,
I have to constantly observe and place myself in other shoes in order to get
the best service to my customers, so I'd say in life that you need a fairly
balanced "ME" and "I."
A balanced life is a happy life
In conclusion, I think we need the
"Me" or else no role-taking is occurring. The process of mentally
assuming another's perspective, thus allowing us to respond from that
perceived point of view would be missing, but if people have too much of the
"Me" then we don't think about the "I" and worry about what
everyone else thinks about us. The "I" is the part of the self that
initiates encounters with others and responds spontaneously which is equally
important.
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