Going through it

Going Through it 

By: Brent Hitchcock

Whenever I made the transition from High school to college I believed that I had changed as a person at the snap of my fingers. I believed that just because I wasn't in high school anymore I was a different type of person. That being in college meant that I was now A grow man with my own self interests.

Well to tell you the truth that was all just a lie. It was not that easy and that simple to just think I could change over night. Soon enough the college life would hit me with what reality was all about and one of the biggest things that punched me right between my legs was the reality of being responsible for my time, my actions, and my words. In high school you're protected by this safety net that your parents cast out over you to protect you from messing up your life before it even gets started.

 Well when you get to college that safety net gets put away and you are set to swim the oceans of life on your own. you learn how to plan, organize, and stay ahead so that you don't get sent back home and become of your local "peaked in high school football jock buddies". You learn who to trust and who to forget, you learn who will be there for you and who will cast you to the side if it doesn't work for their self interests.

One of my biggest flaws was knowing what my actual self identity was, I didn't ever take the time to really think about what my values where and what I stood for as a young college student trying to make a future for himself. I've had to learn all my lessons about finding my true identity the hard way. Trust me on this one my freshman and sophomore year of college have not been a cake walk, and I'm not just talking about school I'm talking about my relationships with people I thought I could trust to girls I thought I hit the jackpot with. I've learned that there is a lot of evil people in this world and they will manipulate you into something your not just to see you fail for their self pleasure.

These past two semesters of college I would call "Brent's growing stages for life". At one time I thought I knew everything about myself. But recently I've realized that the person I have been was not truly me at all. I was just trying to fit into my surroundings and letting people tell me who I could and couldn't be. It derailed me to being someone who had polar opposite identities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wJEEVdpVMuM1UYHPm5-hiY7slNfghnM4CLX7Y4M1JCQ/edit

Over this past break I completely focused on myself in trying to find out who I truly was and came to a bunch of harsh realizations. But in all honesty it's been the best thing that could have happened to me. Listening to Professor Vrooman talk about mead and true identity with the differences between being a "me" or an "I" person helped me paint my own picture of who I was and wanted to become.

In my opinion I built myself up as a "me" person in the early stages of college.  I was built out of what others wanted me to be. Whatever helped me fit in more is what I did to get along with the general population of people who I considered cool. But. coming into this semester I've transitioned more into a "I" person. Who do I want to be. What do I want to become, who am I going to let tell me what I can and cannot do? No one. I'm my own person and if I want what I desire in life then I need to take a path of my own to be the man I want to be. To have a self identity not a clump of false opinions shaped into a person to fit others satisfaction.

Vrooman's class last week helped me sort of shape that idea more clearly in my head when he asked one by own how much of ourselves was truly our own identity and not somebody else's. Literally only two people gave him actual answers to the question... I myself didn't say anything I sort of just sat their puzzled at the question kicking myself that I never asked myself the same thing. It's kind of weird because usually I'm the observant person in most social settings but being in Vroomans class and having him point out the smallest of details about our appearances and  how they relate to personal things that could be going on behind closed doors is scary but also very amusing to listen to.

His discussions about mead have helped me figure out what the differences between being a "me or an "I" person truly are when it comes to building self identity.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18XihROKao7cKmdtMpWAgFsYnUzCHM4I5-gnOgRfgwds/edit